Kharagpur weather is full of surprises. It is raining here now (And rain in the spring is something unusual). I was just standing in front of my room, seeing someone play in the rain and willingly getting soaked in the sprinkle of water and the thought hit me like a thunder. Are those days gone?
The childhood, the innocence. This is one part of myself which I miss the most.
Why do we feel nostalgic? Why do we remember the old times? Hmm. Who knows? But one thing’s for sure, while the pleasant memories give you moments worth cherishing, sad incidents in the past teach you about your mistakes and encourages you to be better in the future and hence improve yourself as a person, adding on to your self-esteem.
Now days, when I eat (let’s say) Jalebi, I don’t enjoy it as much as I used to. Not that I like it less, neither is Jalebi worse now. Then what is wrong? I guess, I lost that ability of finding happiness in every little thing. I remember being over-delighted when father brought me something as small as a pencil, an eraser or a sharpener, as if he got me a car. Now rarely does anything give me as much happiness.
I recently heard a story of a child who wanted to see it raining on a hot summer day and how a friend elephant gave him the rain he longed to see, using its trunk. This took me back to my childhood, those nights in the arms of my father as he narrated me all those great stories, each story making me a little wiser, a little stronger, a little better to face the outside world. Those stories were different, where the good always won over the evils, where the villains were fought against unitedly, where there was always the hope for good and there was always a happy ending.
When one is a child, he is innocent. Since you don't do anything bad to anyone, you don't expect anything bad to happen to you too. You are always protected by unflappable support of your parents by your side. Parents have the solution to everything that worries you. You are safe and most importantly, you know that you are safe.
I so badly wish I could go back to those days, the school days. When learning used to be much more fun. When, during summers, I used to wait for school to start cause school was so much fun and, during winters, I would wait for summer cause vacations were equally great. When I had nothing to worry about. When only concern each day was to complete the tiny homework for the following day. The moment it is over, I was free to do anything, not having a single fear, always knowing somewhere in my mind, that my parents will protect me from anything bad that could happen.
I know, I have never said it, but thanks Aai, thanks Baba, for loving me all so good, for always being there for me, for guiding me at each step, for concentrating all your efforts in your pursuit of making me a good person. Seeing you satisfied by my few achievements, that look of happiness and pride in your eyes on my, however little, success, that has been my greatest reward and will always be. Nothing can substitute the joy which I get when I know that I have lived up to your expectations.
I hope, I have never hurted you and I never will!! I know you have always been there for me, and will always be. I will be there for you too. My love for you will keep on increasing with each passing moment and every passing breathe.
Now that I am out of the cocoon and facing the whole new world, I am safe in the knowledge that my values will always guide me on to the right path. And when my life comes to a still or when the going gets tough, I would have those memories to rest back on to re-kindle the trust in my own self. Though I can never relive those past moments, the memories will always be there for me to cherish. So now that I know, that the days are not gone, they can never go, it feels much better.
As I look out it is still raining here. Rain in the spring, God I like it so much. I am gonna go dance in the rain……
